...And the Great Drift

Things change. Hair cuts, dress styles, music tastes, hell pretty much anything about a person can change.It's nice being able to look at my friends and appreciate those changes and how we've grown up together. While this might not be my witty smart ass self, its the truth, I was blessed with a family of friends who would be there for me no matter what. but you're not here to hear me be an emo cry baby. /wrists.

This past week was pretty fucking stupid and partially awesome to say the least. The earlier part of my week was dominated by work. My boss has finally realized my potential and wants to try to push me to bigger and better things. He just really wasn't sure how to do that, so instead of creating projects that would challenge me, he added lots of mini tasks to my workload. The tasks proved to be more time consuming than really challenging. I spent a day pretty much relearning excel since the 2007 office suite fucked it six ways to Sunday. I had my yearly performance evaluation and as expected I passed it flying colors, one can only hope that translates into a bitchin' pay increase. That was the tale of my work week, not so amusing.

My non time in work however was amusing.

Wednesday:
Tim was on a date and I promised Amber that i would swing by the house for a few beers. Well what thing lead to another and before I knew it I was on a beer tasting tour. Here's pretty much how it went down.

I started in Milwaukee with a champagne of beers, moved on to Canada to try some labatte blue. After my journeys in the frozen north, I made my way to Florida for a Landshark. I decided to work my way north to ST Louis for a taste of the rock that rolls, a pony if you will. From there I rode the silver bullet to tap the rockies. I came back to Wisconsin to have a couple of pints of spotted cow. I went back to ST Louis to enjoy a bud light then I hopped on a plane and headed for Ireland, where I was involved in an act of terrorism of sorts. Car bomb you morons...it's a funny joke. I hopped on a puddle jumper and landed in england for a tasty New Castle Brown Ale. I came back to Milwaukee for a miller lite, and I stopped my night in Chippewa Falls for an Applespice. There were also many shots that came from all over the Caribbean, so i pretty much rocked that bitch too.

That night was pretty much a blur of justice. I remember meeting up with Rubi at some point and her giving me a hug that lasted like 3 minutes while we talked. Me and Rubi are homeslices so any time I get to talk to her is time well spent. I really admire her for all she's done and what she's capable of in the future.

This was one of those nights that I appreciate being single and confirms that I'm a creature that is often best left to his own devices.

Oh yeah I won 40 bucks in spooky spins and Tim and Nik showed up at some point. We all got trashed to the max.

Thursday:
I got all dressed up and made my way to the firehouse where I realized after my previous night I had lost all will to drink. I think I drank like 4 beers all night which is lack luster for a man like me.

Nik felt the same way so we chilled and shot the shit, Julian and Wes showed up and we were attacked by BC who kept trying to get us to go back to her place. I was like being around a child molester who was trying to coax me and Nik into her rape van. Amber didn't have to work and she wanted us to go to a place called the sardine can, but we opted to call it an early night. I went over to Tim's bar and I had a beer there and ended up helping him and the other guy close down the bar.

We braved the snow and got some movies and me some medication, because like the idiot I am I took a drag off of a cigarette and I pass out.

Friday:
I slept in a little bit, but then get up and get some business done.I had to get some cash from the bank and get some new reading material because if I don't have something to read thats either really engaging or new to me, I go apeshit. As I was picking up a few magazines and a book, Nik gives me a hollar and wants to go get something to eat. I tell him lets go to the tilted kilt at 6. I head home, poke Tim who was sleeping in the couch, he literally had all of the pillows on top of him.I dug him out and loaded him into the car. We had a bitch of a time finding a parking spot so we had to park in a little town called buttfuck,Egypt. We got inside and Nik was waiting for us.

One thing I may have forgotten to mention is that part of Nik's Charm is his assholeness. While some may say, why is that remotely charming? well it reels in chicks left and right so he's doing something right, perhaps it's his salt or oregano depending on your spice preference.

Anyways in case you've never heard of this tilted kilt, it's like hooters mixed with the Scottish. So rather attractive women exposing their god given assets in plaid skirts. Our waitress was pretty good looking so I knew Nik would do something stupid. The waitress gets our drink order and then offers us some starter foods. she said," would you be interested in an appetizer such as Nachos,Onion Rings or a bowl of chicken noodle soup?" Nik cocked his head and asked," When did soup become an appetizer?" She tried to stand her ground, but then Nik turned on his "charm" and she said something smug under her breath. The experience after that went down hill, Nik and Tim ordered Black and Tans and ended up getting 90% Black 10% tan which was not so awesome. My order was completely fucked.When things were all said and done the damage of the experience totaled at 50.93 and being the decent tippers we are, we were going to leave it at 60 bucks and call it even, but Nik wanted to make sure she never offered soup again as an appetizer. so when she came back he told her she could keep the change if she did one thing for him. He stated his case and she said she couldn't promise it, then Nik said "well how about then saying an appetizer or perhaps some soup."

She said,"how about i go get your change."

That was not what Nik wanted to hear.

She makes another waitress give us our change and Nik pulls out our change and finds a quarter in his pocket and puts it into the bill book that people put the tip into.

Nik wanted to make this bitch an example. Overall between the Nik/Waitress battle, the fucked up orders, the fucked up drinks, and pretty much the fucked up experience, I can honestly say... Fuck that place.

I dropped Tim off so he could go to work, and then I headed back out into the night. I went over to the firehouse. Now this makes me sound like an Alchoholic, but in reality, I really enjoy the atmosphere and I know all of the bartenders so well that it's not like going out, its meeting up with my family. Nik shows up and we roll some dice and get into our swing. Julian joins us again and we hit up a new bar in town. Nik wins 350 off of 20 bucks in his spooky spins allotment. I end up bailing and going back to the fire house and hang out with Rubi. She's having sort of a rough night and I don't mind being there to give a good bear hug or lighten things up with a joke. In fact, theres probably no other place in the world I would have rather been. Eventually close is called and I head home and go straight to bed, My voice is trashed and I needed to try to save what I could.

Saturday:

Most of the day was spent in a chemical induced coma thanks to go the good people at the Tylenol cold and flu company. I finally got up and got cleaned up. We got me some more medicine, because everyone loves to self medicate. We went to the mall to get Tim some pants.

We were going to watch the UFC fight at BW3's, but they had an hour and a half wait. we put out names down and checked out hooters. no good seats by the TV's. I suggested why not have the firehouse show it? They have a big screen projector and a 15 foot screen. I made Tim call Amber to see if she'd do it. Amber being the raddest chick ever said that it'd be a cool with her. So we sped to the firehouse to see if we could make it work. upon arriving I discovered a serious problem. The dish box needed to be connected to a phone line, the nearest phone line was 15 feet away with a 3 foot cord. We gave up and got back to Bw3's to get out table. Turns out they gave it away a half an hour ago. well fuck me sideways. By this time we are joined by Nik. We split into two teams. Team GI Joe would stay at BW3 (Tim/Klister) and wait for the table so they couldn't bone us something righteous again. Team Cobra Commander (Me/Nik) would go get a huge ass phone line and try to save the day on the Firehouse front. We rushed to target and as usual get the oldest fucking cashier known to man, shes clear from the Jurassic era and thus take 40 days to ring something. We get into the car and rush to the firehouse, the Mission Impossible theme rocking out in my head.

I get there and start to string cable and I get it all hooked up and then it doesn't fucking recognize the modem. So then I restart the whole thing and check for a Dial Tone. Should be all set. Well then the fucker Says the card won't allow it. Well shit. I Promise I'll have it working for the next fight so they can get it in the local paper ad. We race back to BW3's and are seated shortly into the fights. We order a hundred wings, but could only kill 80. thanks Tim for being a giant pussy on us. Not to point fingers or anything you dick. We rolled out and enjoyed another night of good times at the fire house. Me and Rubi play batphone since she can't hear me over the music, so I have to text her stuff. This one guy buys 30 jager bombs and we givem hell. We get the fuck out at close, score SG1 season 1 from wal-mart and go home. That wraps up my weekend.

'til next time, please spay or neuterer your pets

-Jeric